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"Dear sister,

Your words are like honey poisoned with wormwood - sweet to the ear, but bitter in the end. I'd smite thee in thy breast were it that you had a heart; you may raise the sun but your veins are full of ice, you may be a goddess but you are more like a devil, your coat may be white but inside you are as black as sin. This prison you have sent me to may be dark and cold... but not as dark or as cold as you.

~Princess Luna"
I was thinking to myself what would be going through my mind if I was imprisoned by my own sister, this is what I came up with.
comments? , suggestion? Likes? dislikes?
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:icondravencleary:
Dravencleary Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Why is this in the "sad attempt( it's got an A in it lol) at writing folder"?
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
because I can't spell so save my life. I also lack basic understanding of how to write properly, like how to write paragraphs or when to put a period or when not to use a comma and lots of other basic knowledge for writing that most other people seem to know.
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:icondravencleary:
Dravencleary Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Heh same here. I'm glad I have English next semester so that I'll be able to spot those pesky mistake and do better and such .
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
if I want to write a fan-fic or something I just hire a editor.
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:icondravencleary:
Dravencleary Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Like someone you know or do people do that for other peope on da? Iv seen otter comments about it
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
well right at the moment I'm thinking of the time I actually paid someone some DA points to do it.
well more like I bagged them until they did and than felt bad so gave them a four month full subscription.
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:icondravencleary:
Dravencleary Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Wow lol well if you ever need another I think between the two of us we could work through any mistakes oh and i work for Free.
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:icontdlob:
tdlob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011
That's great, more Celestian loyalists should take a look at this.
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
yus spread the propaganda. "FOR THE REPUBLIC!"
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:icontdlob:
tdlob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011
We must restore Luna to her rightful place as the ruler of equestira!

Luna, true heir to the throne!

DIU VIVERE LUNAE!
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
was thinking of writing a ode to Luna, but I don't know, should it be an ode to Luna or to Nightmare Moon?

just remember "the moon shale rise again."
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:icontdlob:
tdlob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011
To be honest, I personally see them both as one and the same. Nightmare Moon is the magically powerful adult version of Luna. However after episode two Luna has been reverted to a child like state where her magic has been reduced significantly to the point of mere parlor tricks. Who do we have to thank for that? Celestia and those who would remain loyal to her!

Because I view them as the same entity I prefer to refer to them both as "Luna" In my opinion it rolls of the tongue better and makes our rebellion sound more innocent. Nightmare Moon is seen by those who follow Celestia as the evil overlord who would destabilize the current aristocracy, while Luna is the wronged sister trying to reclaim what was hers to begin with.

The moon will rise again my brother, as soon as our forces are strong enough, the moon will rise!
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
you know I cant help but think that eventually at comicon and other such places, we will see Luna supporters and Celestia supporters having mock fights :D lets hope I get to be in that number
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:icontdlob:
tdlob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011
Both sides need a good T-Shirt. I have been trying to come up with a good design, (and the method of producing it) but to no avail...

Ha! If you should enter the fray my brother, may our goddess Luna be watching over you.
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah but like president Truman said, you cant fight a war with empty pockets, and I has no money so don't expect to see me at any conventions until I get a job and a car.
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(1 Reply)
:icondarkdijinartie89:
DarkDijinArtie89 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Student General Artist
Very interesting I say...
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you.
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:icondarkdijinartie89:
DarkDijinArtie89 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Student General Artist
Yeah, it's about how I see Celestia myself as opposed to the more "trollestia" image most people have brought up.
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
yup she a hoe, Luna wants to make friends and out of desperation tries to make it night long enough for her to play with other ponies, so as punishment (as apposed to talking it out, or taking her duty to rise the moon for a bit so Luna can make friends) she sends her to the moon for a thousand years, and I don't believe for a sec that "she was probably asleep or something for most of that time crap" because she must have known time was passing because when she returned the first thing she says is "so glad some one remembers me after all this time" so yeah Celestia a hoe
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:icondarkdijinartie89:
DarkDijinArtie89 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Student General Artist
Yeah, I'd buy that about Celestia. Just because she's all pretty and on the light side doesn't mean she's really that nice or willing to manipulate people.
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
manipulative . . .let's see, she let another pony nearly fall to her death just so Rainbow dash would learn to do a sonic rainboom.

purposely let twilight and her friends fight her sister for her, without telling them how to defeat her, just so twilight would learn to trust her friends.

Let fluttershy think that she killed a sick bird, just to teach her to tell the truth.

Granted all good things to teach, but the method employed is vary manipulative and heartless.
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:icondarkdijinartie89:
DarkDijinArtie89 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Student General Artist
That's all pretty disturbing, considering this is a kids show and we're supposed to show how they can rely on authority figures... =/
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:iconminnie-mocha:
Minnie-Mocha Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful, or at least, it would be if I weren't reading it like she was saying it all in one breath. You need more commas, man! And periods, actually... XD If I were you, I'd have written it like this:

"Dear sister,

Your words are like honey poisoned with wormwood - sweet to the ear, but bitter in the end. I'd smite thee in thy breast were it that you had a heart; you may raise the sun but your veins are full of ice, you may be a god [or goddess actually] but you are more like a devil, your coat may be white but inside you are black as sin. This prison you have sent me to may be dark and cold... but not as dark or as cold as you.

~Princess Luna"
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah sounds good I'll be sure to change it, thanx for the help :D, to be fare I wrote it after being awake for about 18 hours so... yeah any ways I'm glad you liked it.
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:iconminnie-mocha:
Minnie-Mocha Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome. It's awesomely poetic, btw. (:

Ah, yeah... I figure that would kinda mess up your brain a little. :XD: In that case, you really did do a good job, grammar mistakes and all. I pulled an all-nighter once and didn't even have the brainpower to eat ice cream. Imagine that!
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