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Submitted on
April 12, 2011
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Though thy teeth be sharp, and thy claws great, waste not thy strength on me,
for thy beauty doth pierce mine heart worse than any wound.

Do not waste thy breath upon me, for I burn already a passion far greater than I can bear.

Oh dragon, hold back not thine beauty from mine eyes any longer, spread thy wings for me, let me see thy grace, thy majesty, thy glory complete!

Though thy scales turn away the sword, they cannot turn away my love for thee.
Though thy wings block the sun, they cannot block mine thoughts so bright of thee.
Though thine eyes stare death, I . . .only have eyes . . . for thee.
I was inspired to express my love for dragons in middle english. if I was a animal I'd be a dragon.

This ode which is called an irregular ode glorifies the dragon.

In Asiatic cultures, dragons are worshiped for their wisdom and longevity.
I have shown adoration and human love to the dragon of my dreams, the person is captivated by the dragons unearthly aura.

He reads only love and passion into the various features like its breath of fire, scales and piercing eyes of the supernatural entity.

The address is the one used for the revered one like a god or a deity. Biblical "thine" "thy" find their way into addressing the dragon.

The ellipses in the last line intensify the effect being totally enchanted by the dragon.

A gracious artist by the name of :icontreijim: has let me use the picture above for the cover of this poem.
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:iconbeccalicious:
Hi there

I think this piece is only really a baseline for what you could do here. You are pointing out really obvious features of the dragon and not really showing any emotional aspects of personality of the creature.

The archaic choice of language is actually distracting and incorrect you could probably cut every single "thy" and "thee" used in this and you would already have a stronger piece. The language is also very ambiguous, lacking concrete images and strength in word choice. You could change the title of this poem to “bird” and the words could still be applied to it- consider how you can make this more unique.

If you are creating an "ode" you need to consider how you can show your audience more of the glorifying aspects of your subject matter. Also an Ode is actually a form of poetry usually forming lyrical verses- perhaps titling this as a "tribute" would be more suitable

You need to understand the concept of showing your audience, not telling them about the dragon. Use imagery to let them to be able to see the dragon you are describing- create more concrete images and maybe use similes to make those elements of the creature you admire more fantastical- what could you compare sharp teeth and claws to? What can you share about the dragon instead of just what it looks like? Could you use other senses to describe it?

There are also quite a few grammatical errors- ellipses are not pauses and “can not” should be cannot”. I believe you have a passionate idea here, but there is a lot of work on and it would be good to see this redrafted.
What do you think?
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:icondragonram107:
DragonRam107 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I love dragons too! ^~^
Reply
:iconjacobellinger:
Jacobellinger Featured By Owner May 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah I wrote it because I love dragons too.
Reply
:icondragonram107:
DragonRam107 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
:D
Reply
:iconnyrawolfdragon:
NyraWolfDragon Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012
Amazing!
Dragons are awesome ^^
Reply
:iconmerlinathewitch:
MerlinaTheWitch Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wow! this is amazing! I love dragons >w<
Reply
:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^.==.^
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:icongandof79:
gandof79 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
made me smile. im happy now XD
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